Advertising, Me and Unabashed Hatred

Advertising, Me and Unabashed Hatred

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“R U Single?” queries a banner ad at the top of the page. Another asks whether I’d like a certain aspect of my anatomy to be more impressive to the opposite gender.

Those are quickly stifled when a popup appears to

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remind me of the relative inexpensiveness of the McDonalds Big Mac compared to a Subway sandwich. To be honest, I really don’t feel like “eating fresh” or “bah dah bah dah dah, lovin’ it” right now.

I only wanted to find out the lyrics to this Lady Gaga song. Now I’ll never know whether she’s good at playing cards, or just wants me to poke her face.

I well and truly loathe advertising, public relations, sponsorship, commercials, banners, viral advertising, insert postcards, and anything else instructing me what I should or shouldn’t buy. I suspect this this an issue of my own psychoses, but I can’t help it.

Food commercials shot like porn videos, movie trailers that give away half the plot just to draw in more attendees, lighting techniques and music choices utilized in grocery stores to encourage buying habits, product placement so blatant they might as well be giving a sloppy blowjob to a man in a Coca Cola t-shirt; it all never ceases to utterly infuriate me.

For a while I couldn’t figure out exactly why. I tried to rationalize it: How else are they going to get funding to make these high dollar movies? How are they going to keep their shows on the air? It just makes sense to include ads, right?

The problem is that they don’t know where to stop. Want to watch a movie trailer on YouTube? Watch this ad first. Think about that: You have to watch an ad before you watch a something that is ostensibly another ad!

I think I could get behind advertising a bit more if they weren’t so intrusive and insensitive with the way it’s included. I was watching a show where one of the characters committed suicide, blowing her brains all over the wall. It was a shocking twist to an already excellent bit of television, which completely enthralled me and made me love it even more.

They immediately cut to a commercial which showed crackers falling into bowls of tomato soup, with splashes of bright red chunky bits flying everywhere. And what was playing in the background?

“I just want to celebrate another day of living. I just want to celebrate another day of liiiiiife!”


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